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Fic- Who enters this place will beg for grace

Title: Who Enters This Place Will Beg For Grace
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster

Characters: Bertie Wooster, Rocky Todd, Reginald Jeeves
Pairing: Heh, none ;p
- Chapter one -    !! More to come !!
Bertie, Rocky and Jeeves visit an old haunted house. Will everything turn out to be alright?

I know it’s not yet Halloween but I can’t hold myself ;)

“Jeeves I’m going to the woods with Rocky. “ I told Jeeves. I was standing in front of my full length mirror eyeing the Wooster corpus while Jeeves was dusting some things that needed to be dusted.

“Indeed, sir?” Jeeves said not bothering to turn around and face me.

“Indeed, Jeeves.” I confirmed. He laid down the duster and began to set some things in their original places. While visiting Rocky he’d informed me there was a house deeper into the woods and he wanted to go there but some other chaps had refused to go with him, they told him people who dared enter the house would disappear forever like they’d been wiped out of existence. Now the Wooster that I am had agreed to go and sniff around the house and make sure that’s all a myth.

“Do you require a basket, sir?” Jeeves asked me. I gave him the Wooster eyes, not literally of course. Jeeves who finally turned to meet my gaze just stood there. “No Jeeves, we’re going to that house Rocky said.” I informed him. Jeeves’ brows drew together in a frown.

“Sir, I have heard the story before.” Jeeves said. What story was he talking about? Was there a story? I eyed my man with confusion and asked;
“I beg your pardon?” Jeeves walked across the room and into the sitting room so I followed closely. He mixed a brandy and soda while I seated myself onto the settee. When Jeeves came over he handed me the b. and s. but kept standing.

“sir.” He began. “There is a myth about that house, I quote: ‘Who enters this place will beg for grace’.” Jeeves said.

“Beg for grace? Why should we do that?” It begins to penetrate why Jeeves says I’m mental negligible; my dumb questions won’t help me convince otherwise.

“People have disappeared, sir. It’s an old myth and whoever came up with it has intended to scare people.” He said.

“So it seems, Jeeves.” I said not catching the point at all.

“The person might be right, sir. To scare people away from the house is the best option and the safest, the building threats to collapse and others who have entered have not yet been found in hundreds of years, sir.” He said.

“I say!” I shouted. “That’s a big number. So no one has ever intended to go into the house ever again after so long?” I asked him. Jeeves darted to the master bedroom to retrieve his duster. He started to clean an old vase while answering:

“No, sir.”

“Well, Rocky and I will make it safe into the house and alive outside.” I said drinking the last drop of my b. and s.

“Sir, I would not advise such course of action.” Jeeves told me.

“Tosh, Jeeves.” I said handing him the empty glass.

“Which flowers do you prefer on your funeral, sir?” Jeeves asked.

“Really funny, Jeeves, I am going and that’s all I want to hear about it.” I said putting on my coat.

“Very good, sir.” He said in his valet-ish tone.

“Toodle-pip!” I said cheery, Jeeves opened the door for me and closed it again behind my back, he didn’t even say: ‘Have a nice evening, sir.’


I took the two-seater and headed for Rocky’s. When I suggested to go to New York I’d hoped for some rest but over the course we all know my ‘luck’ and I was bothered once again by my good old chump Rocky Todd.

I parked off the road next to some trees. I stepped out and walked further to Rocky’s cabin. On my way I was greeted with some rather annoying plants and bushes but I held my ground and almost shouted at one of them for cutting through my trousers.

“Stupid nettle” I muttered to no one in particular. I finally made it to the cabin and knocked with all my strength on the front door.

“Alright alright.” I heard Rocky shout. I stopped bonking on the door and waited for it to open. “Bertie!” He cried out cheerfully.

“What ho, Rocky.” I greeted. He let me in and together we sat on the sofa.

“Why, Bertie I thought you’d never come. I assumed your man would talk you out of this.” He said, he scrambled a few papers together and placed them on a neat heap on the corner in front of us.

“He tried to, but the Woosters are not easily convinced to let loose of such great events.” I said. Rocky eyed me and stood up.

“Well lets go then before you change your mind.” Rocky said. We’d only been sitting for two minutes and he wanted to go already.

I stood up and headed out the door, Rocky closed it and off we went. After a quarter of walking and stumbling we stood in front of the house, it wasn’t that far from Rocky’s so if someone gets scared we could dash back and forget we ever were there.

Suddenly a rustling sound caught my ears and I turned around to see some bushes moving along with the wind or perhaps from something else.

“What’s the matter, Bertie?” Rocky’s voice sounded all of a sudden. I gasped and placed my hand over my beating heart attempting to slow its repeat ticking. Rocky only gave me an even more confused look.

“It’s just…” I was cut off by another sound and this time it sounded closer. Something black approached us and I stared at it, hoping it was just my imagination.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” The voice of none other than my faithful valet said.

“Jeeves!” I cried out. The man comes here dashing into the woods while wearing his bally bowler!

“Hello, Jeeves. Are you coming with us?” Rocky asked him, Jeeves even wore his gloves, I noticed.

“If it’s agreeable to you.” Jeeves said regarding the both of us.

“Of course it’s agreeable.” Rocky said excited. “Not Bertie?” He asked. I nodded and shot Jeeves a questioning eye, he just ignored me and followed Rocky who was walking towards the house.

When we stood at the front door we exchanged some glances, Jeeves keeping his cool gaze of course but Rocky and I were a bit nervous. After some time, Rocky spoke:

“Uh, I think that Jeeves should open the door, he’s a valet thus he opens doors, not?” Rocky said I looked at the blighter with narrowed eyes and opened my mouth to say something but a creaking noise got my attention first, I looked up to where said creaking noise was coming from and apparently one of the windows stood ajar and it was contently blowing along with the soft breezes of the wind.

“Ah, erm…I think I want to go back” I thought suddenly.

“What’s the matter, Bertie? You look frightened, are you scared?” Rocky’s voice sounded, I looked up at him and saw him staring amused at me. Jeeves still hadn’t moved to open the door and we all waited for something or other that I secretly hoped would never come.

“Nothing’s the matter, Rocky. I shall open the door for you and play valet for once, what?” I said not even thinking about what I had said. Rocky made a gesture with his hand and I got in front of the door. I took the handle slowly and with care, I looked back one more time to see Jeeves and Rocky waiting. Gently I pulled the handle down and the door opened with needed force and a loud crack that sounded similar to my aunt Agatha’s voice. A chilly wind crept passed me and I shivered ever so slightly, the light gust was gone in an eye blink and I viewed the door with what someone would call a disgusted look.

“Hullow to you too.” I muttered at the door. I turned ‘round the Wooster anatomy and took a few steps aside as not to block the entrance of the house, but no one entered.

“Something amiss?” I asked Rocky, I knew Jeeves wouldn’t go in first, what of his feudal spirit and all. Rocky hesitated but eventually said:

“No, but it’s a bit scary.” Rocky took a few steps forward but didn’t go inside the old building.

Finally he stepped inside and Jeeves and I were following closely. We looked at our surroundings and I noticed how dusty it was, if I lived here Jeeves wouldn’t hesitate one slight moment to begin un-dusting the place and clean every single room.

“Jeeves?” I began. “No feather broom in sight?” I asked him.

“Not that I have seen, sir.” Jeeves informed me.

“Now there’s a filthy place but there’s no…ah, what’s the French word again?” I asked. “Plumber, Plume, plu…something.” A chuckle met my ears and I looked at Rocky to see a bemused expression on his map.

“Plumeau, sir. They’re made of synthetic material and because of the static electricity the dust will-.. ” I cut him off with a single wave of my hand and nodded.

“Alright Jeeves, enough about plumeaus and dusters.”

“Very good, sir.”

“You can dream about them once we’re home.”

“Indeed, sir.”

Rocky just stared at us, I walked passed him and ignored his gaze as best as possible. We stood in the hall, the dust and molt on the walls  and furniture indicated that indeed the house must have stood there for more than hundred years. On our left was a door opening but the door itself was missing, I looked inside the room and found out it was a living room. In front of us was a staircase that probably let to bedrooms and such.

“So what now?” I asked quietly. As if trying to not disturb anyone, but then again who lives here, right?

“I’d say we look upstairs.” Rocky said excited. I eyed him wide eyed, the creepy sounds of squeaking wood wasn’t enough to scare him away it seemed.

“You sure?” I asked unsure myself.

“Bertie, you had agreed to go along and you won’t go back, will you?” Rocky asked in disbelieve.

“Perhaps I should wait outside, what?” I suggested, just when I turned, the front door closed with a loud ‘bang’ that ricocheted throughout the whole building. “erm, perhaps I should stay here.” I muttered silently.

“It’s probably the wind, Bertie.” Rocky said. I exchanged looks with Jeeves in a worried sort of way.

“Jeeves, I should have listened to you, we should never have entered this place. I hope we needn’t beg for grace soon, eh?” I whispered to Jeeves when Rocky was out of earshot. This bally place is haunted!